Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans! It’s the day where we eat so many hot dogs, hamburgers, and other foods that the entire country as a whole probably gains at least a pound. Fireworks go off, making falling asleep virtually impossible, and at least on person seriously injures themself being careless while setting off what is basically just gunpowder and metal salts in a package.

Honestly, in my opinion, it’s kind of a mess. You stay up late, you eat more than should be humanly possible, and pets must live in fear of the loud sounds in the sky because they have no concept of holidays. You also probably grill something because barbecue, hamburgers, hot dogs, and other grilled things are the most American foods ever. No questions asked.

For me, the 4th of July is kind of an excuse to poke some light fun at my country as well as acknowledge our mistakes. I like it here and all, and we certainly have it much better than other countries, but we still have a LOT of problems. We’re also so extremely proud of ourselves that it’s borderline hilarious. Seriously. Some of us take it so far that it’s barely a reasonable level of pride in our home anymore. Why? I dunno. People are weird.

Nonetheless, I hope everybody here in the US has fun time today, and to those outside the US, I hope you enjoy your day too!