Teaching Ravenpaw to hunt turned out to be far more difficult than Chirpbreeze ever could’ve imagined. The black blur through the trees did not appear to understand “slow down” or “stop.” It was like chasing shadows blown about in the wind. She envied how easily Mew cruised along just a tail length or so above her, feathers brushing lightly against the ferns that covered the ground.

“Ravenpaw! Ravenpaw!”

Stars above, if that kid had a hunting accident like she’d had when she was that age, they were both thoroughly screwed. Chirpbreeze herself had almost failed to graduate on time because of the laceration she’d gained. Not to mention how old it made her feel now that she thought about her own apprenticeship. Why did everything have to start crumbling so quickly? Why did even something as simple and wholesome as spending time with her little sister make her tongue taste so bitter? Why couldn’t she just have one normal day of her life?

No time to think about it. Her sister’s form careened through the trees, trailed by the banner of her scent. Chirpbreeze wanted to scream. Where was that fool going?

“RAVENPAW, GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!” the calico found it in herself to roar, despite the familiar breathlessness that ran through her body. She was running herself ragged again, despite the fact that she knew it wouldn’t do anything to help her.

It always goes like this.

When she finally found the charcoal molly again, largely by the distinct scent of wood smoke and rain, Chirpbreeze finally realized that her paws were on forbidden ground. She stood among a field of grass and wildflowers, framed by orange poppies that nodded in the gentle breeze rolling calmly over the vibrant meadow, heralded by the wide blue sky above. The scents around her were sweet and unfamiliar, and the familiar gray shape of Mew seemed to circle above her like a vulture, searching for a place to land.

“Wrong territory,” they told her softly, coming down to land on her back. “Crossed border lines. Meadowclan.”

Well, that explained the odd scent that hung in the air around her, at least. Chirpbreeze knew deep down that she was so, so screwed. She was risking it all standing on another clan’s land, trying to corral her rowdy apprentice who was digging through the dirt doing who-knows-what. I just can’t catch a break, can I? Chirpbreeze wanted to say, but the words refused to leave her mouth, trapped by ivory teeth. First the child prodigy, then the accident, then the fish, and now this. One of these days, I am going to keel over and die. 

She wished her heart would just stop already when Ravenpaw proudly held up a ground squirrel, tail swishing in evident joy. “I found something!” the darker feline exclaimed, though it came out muffled and difficult to understand from behind the furry body dangling from her jaws.

All the words came out sounding sharper than Chirpbreeze had intended. They must’ve dug into her poor sister’s heart like thorns into skin. “Ravenpaw, drop that this instant. Do you have any idea how much trouble we could get in for this?! Hunting on another clan’s territory is strictly forbidden by the Code!”

The sparkle in those emerald eyes dulled when the smaller cat obeyed, the body of the unfortunate rodent falling to the ground with an unceremonious thud. Ravenpaw tucked her ears back and bowed her head in wordless remorse almost immediately. She knew what she had done, and somehow that just made Chirpbreeze want to berate her more. More words, more anger, more-

“No time,” Mew piped up, nearly startling both she-cats out their fur. “Patrol coming. Go.”

Momentarily, Chirpbreeze allowed herself to drop the carefully calibrated lecture she was forming in her head so she could pick up her nuisance apprentice by the scruff of her neck and hurry on stormy steps back to the Redwoodclan side of the border. The bundle of fur between her teeth was surprisingly heavy, a sign that Ravenpaw had inherited their mother’s stocky build, rather than the elegant frame Chirpbreeze had received from her father. It felt like trying to grab and carry one of those raccoons that got too close to the camp and had to be chased off from time to time. When had Ravenpaw gotten so big?

Once she felt they were appropriately back among the ferns and trees, Chirpbreeze unceremoniously dropped Ravenpaw to the ground and resisted the urge to simply lie down and give up. “Ravenpaw, what the fuck were you thinking?!”

The way her voice cut through the air reminded Chirpbreeze of a bear’s claws against tree bark, or the scream of a hawk spending its afternoon wheeling above little clearings in the forest, however rare. Understandably, Ravenpaw flinched and drew away from the slimmer feline. “I’m really sorry, Chirpbreeze!” The onyx apprentice began in a hurried tone, big green eyes sparkling with tears. “I didn’t realize where I was going! I really didn’t mean to break the Code, I swear to Starclan.”

Chirpbreeze wanted to be mad at the wayward molly, she really did, but she just couldn’t bring herself to make the feeling happen. She was exhausted and stressed and she felt terrible about scaring Ravenpaw so badly and she didn’t want to go too hard on her little sister for such a stupid mistake. It just wasn’t worth all of the effort.

A slender paw reached up to brush along the fluff of Ravenpaw’s cheek and wipe away the tears that began to wet the fur there. “I know, I know,” Chirpbreeze soothed as best she could. “I know you didn’t mean to. You’re a good kid. I’m sorry I yelled over something so stupid.”

Ravenpaw pushed herself against her sister and curled up to her chest, burying her face in the ivory fur and purring through sniffles and tears. “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Just… just do better next time, okay?”

Chirpbreeze felt like unraveling alongside her sister. She was usually stellar at not letting the emotions get to her – not letting them break her outer shell or reach her bitter, damaged center – but something about seeing Ravenpaw cry just sort of weakened all her defense lines. It was crushing to see a cat she could so easily remember as a newborn kit break down like that. The natural reaction to seeing children cry was always increased tenfold when it came to family.

“I will…” Ravenpaw squeaked shakily after several minutes of tears. Drawing away from the calico warrior, she reached up a paw to gently bat away her tears and took a few deep breaths. “Where are we going next?”

Chirpbreeze stood and sighed softly, feeling like the weight of the entire world was back on her shoulders again. It didn’t help that Mew decided that sounded like a good place to alight. She needed to be alone right now.

“Mew is going to go back to camp with you,” Chirpbreeze decided after a moment. “I am going to go take a walk to clear my head.”

Without any further words exchanged, Chirpbreeze then proceeded to shake off the bird, turn, and walk silently into the trees. The last thing she heard was an indignant coo of “Geez…”

At least they wouldn’t have to hear her screaming in frustration.

---

The sun dried the tears more swiftly than expected. Or maybe she hadn’t been able to cry at all. It didn’t matter either way. Only just now was Chirpbreeze’s mixture of anger and- well, whatever that other feeling was- calming. She felt like a young tree having just weathered an awful storm. That was alright. It happened every time she got too stressed.

Rays of light unevenly warmed Chirpbreeze’s fur through the trees and pine needles that formed the canopy above her. Here, in the dappled shadows, she was finally able to catch a break. With all the pressure on her shoulders, sometimes she wondered if her family even loved her at all. They were certainly oblivious, for lack of a better term.

Like everything else in her life, she simply walked it off.

Walks were really one of the only things Chirpbreeze felt she had the free time to do these days. Since her first injury, she’d felt disconnected from her friends and family, alone in the medicine den with Olmsight and Aspenleaf taking care of her. Her Warrior Ceremony and the vigil with her peers were fine, but then the incident with the monster fish came in and rocked her entire world. The only two constants since she’d turned 12 moons were Mew and her crushing sense of loneliness and stress. Sometimes, when the young warrior closed her eyes at night, she swore she saw her own reflection lying motionless on the ground, crimson spilling in a pool around her döppelganger while she stood and watched in horror. She always woke up from those dreams biting back shocked sobs. There was no sense in shedding tears over a simple stress dream, no matter how upsetting it was.

At least, Chirpbreeze hoped they were just stress dreams. The last thing she needed was an omen on her shoulders. 

As the wind swept through the trees like a river around rocks, Chirpbreeze found her legs urging her to run. Not of fear, not to get anywhere, just out of the desire to go careening through the trees and forget about her problems for a moment. Kicking herself into gear, she took off through the sorrel and ferns, letting the foliage brush against her body while her short fur ruffled itself with the movement. When she fell into the rhythm of a sprint, there wasn’t any time to think about her problems. Running took Chirpbreeze’s thoughts and eyes to observing the path in front of her and steering, and it kept them there for as long as her paws continued to move.

By the time she’d circled back to camp, panting and struggling to convince her pelt to lay flat again, dusk was beginning to reach its darkness across the sky. Muttering a brief hello to the heads that turned to look at her, Chirpbreeze slunk into the warriors’ den, found her moss bed, curled up, and blotted out the rest of the world like an eclipse.

She’d give mentoring another try tomorrow.